The Bloody Murder Party

Give me more political parties.

I am bored with the American political system. It seems you are either a Democrat, a Republican or a nobody who refuses to vote. People have tried to form third parties, but nobody in their right mind will actually run on a Green Party platform. In America, running on a third party platform is equivalent to running a race backwards; you look like an idiot and will probably fall over and fracture your skull.

Super.

Why do I have such a problem with the current system? It essentially forces people to homogenize their political beliefs. When was the last time you saw a Democrat openly admit he was pro-life? And yet, there are people out there who describe themselves as such. There is, however, no one to represent them. Being political in this country requires you to adopt the party line.

We need dozens of parties. I want candidates to run on platforms that have no business being in politics. I want rabidly conservative men who support a woman's right to choose on my ballot. I want men who support supply-side economics and welfare. I want women who cite Trotsky as their political inspiration. In short, I want choices.

I want to support people for their ideas, not their party.