I want to be the Neptunes

Word has it the Neptunes can demand 300 thousand dollars just for the opportunity to meet with them and dicuss making some music. Studio time with them will cost you a small country. They are certified hitmakers and they know it.

The Neptunes are unbelievably pimp. Want a demonstration? Ask any girl you cross on the street if she digs Pharrell. The answer is invariably affirmative: he is the perfect man, and I am not ashamed to admit that Sanjay finds him attractive. In fact, Sanjay's walls are covered in N.E.R.D posters, and his stereo loops "Fly or Die" twenty-four hours a day. And by Sanjay, I mean Laura. And by Laura, I mean someone entirely distinct from myself.

In spite of the fact that they are silly pimps, the Neptunes have nevertheless managed to stay true to themselves. Most top-of-the-line producers rarely feel the urge to leave their glass penthouses and trophy wives. Pharrell and company, however, feel a distinct urge to adopt odd pseudonyms, fool around with top-flight sound equipment and then sell the resulting product to the masses. Thus, we have N.E.R.D, a weird, wonderful foray into the uncharted space that resides between hip-hop, soul and rock.

Let's not forget their contributions to struggling artist. Kelis, now an international phenomenon, got her first big break through their offices. Kenna, one of the more innovative artists out there, would not exist without their help and services. The Clipse? Do not even get me started on the Clipse. In the future, you might as well just call them the Neptunes. That's how indebted they are to Chad Hugo, Inc.

In short, I want to grow up to be the Neptunes. It would be awesome.

Listening to: Rock Star - N.E.R.D.