I can find the door myself, bitch!

Friends, readers and innocent bystanders, now is the time to take a deep breath and pop open a beer. Some of you are debating the merits of leaving for Canada. I do not blame you for this, as Canada is actually a wonderful country, filled with beautiful women and recreational drugs.

Unfortunately, there is too much left to be done. We need to reclaim this country and return it to its Enlightenment roots. The Right has no mandate. They only obtained 51% of the vote. There are still Americans out there who recognize the importance of liberal values and the folly of the current administration's policies. All is not lost.

I was reading dailykos today and came upon this link. This is who we are fighting against. This is the man who just hijacked our country. This is the hypocrite who accuses us of hating our country while publicly proclaiming his contempt for one half of this nation's population. This is the reactionary who attacks the liberal media while ignoring the work of conservative fanatics like Coulter and Hannity.

And now he has the effrontery to suggest we should be expelled from the Union. Fuck that, chump.

Of course, the whole article conveniently ignores the fact that eighteen states voted for Kerry, not twelve. It also disregards the fact that New York and California contribute a combined 100 billion to the Federal coffers. Short of holding the so-called Dirty Dozen at gunpoint and demanding subsidies, Mr. Thompson's political Candyland is not fiscally feasible.

I would also like to draw your attention to this anecdote:

BUSH USA is predominantly white; devoutly Christian (mostly Protestant);
openly, vigorously heterosexual; an open land of single-family homes and
ranches; economically sound (except for a few farms), but not drunk with
cyberworld business development, and mainly English-speaking, with a
predilection for respectfully uttering "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir."

GORE/KERRY USA is ethnically diverse; multi-religious, irreligious or
nastily antireligious; more sexually liberated (if not in actual practice,
certainly in attitude); awash with condo canyons and other high-end real estate
bordered by sprawling, squalid public housing or neglected private homes,
decidedly short of middle-class neighborhoods; both high tech and oddly
primitive in its commerce; very artsy, and Babelesque, with abnormally loud
speakers.

Wrong again, Mr. Thompson. Bush USA is, for the most part, subsidized by Kerry USA, and, as we have all learned from our president, has serious difficulties with the English language. I am also not surprised by his assertion that an ideal conservative world is white and Christian, because there are NO black/hispanic Republicans out there. They all vote Democrat, because they are allergic to the idea of economic self-sufficiency. And God knows sodomy only thrives in blue states. I mean, teenage pregnancy must be lower for a reason, right? Did I mention Bush USA has a significantly higher divorce rate?

Fuck you, Thompson. Narrow-minded, hypocritical assholes like you have eked out a minor victory and are already proclaiming a new era, where no one listens to liberal America and condoms are a thing of the future.

Fuck that, my friend. I plan on staying right here and fighting you every step of the way. This time, however, I will be better. I am going to throw everything you threw at us right back at you. Thompson, you are the kind of scum that undermines democracy. Go back to Florida and take your pills.

Listening to: Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers