Focus Groups Don't Always Work

Advertising involves a huge amount of work. An advertising campaign has to go through innumerable processes before you see it on television: research, development, design, etc. I don't know--I don't work in advertising. All I know is that it's an arduous project.

Therefore, I don't understand why there are so many godawful spots on television. Let's take a deeper look:

Six Flags
Six Flags launched a massive campaign a couple of months ago featuring some dude in an old man suit, driving a schoolbus to pick up bored children and dancing to that godawful Vengaboys song.

Things that are wrong with this ad:
1. The song is fucking terrible. It's actually nauseating to listen to: perky, repetitive and Euro. It's not even good Europop. It's shitty Europop. Kind of like what Ill Mitch is to hip-hop.
2. The old man suit is scary.
3. Why is an old guy with bottlecap spectacles allowed to drive a schoolbus?
4. Doesn't anyone find an old man picking up young children in a schoolbus during summer vacation a little creepy?
5. Did research really demonstrate that an old man in a schoolbus would appeal to the suburban-family-with-bored-kids demographic?

Needless to say, this ad should be pulled and the marketing execs who thought it up should be shot. Or forced to listen to that goddamn song over and over again.

KFC
KFC have ditched the family-dining approach, and are now trying to appeal to the trailer-park community. Their new campaign seems to be appealing to the jingoistic, salt-of-the-earth, all-American hearty down-home type people who watch Nascar and understand the significance of, um, Dale Earnhardt Junior.

So. KFC is now the chicken capital of the US of A, and therefore the world. It also sponsors NASCAR drivers, and runs TV spots that feature perky, clear-skinned, sweet-potato-queen type women in small wifebeaters as well as twangy voice-overs. Which must be why I've been a-hankerin' for some fried chicken lately. Gotta get me some of that KFC. Seriously though. "Chicken capital, USA" isn't even a smart or catchy slogan. Who thought that up? And why?

Taco Bell
"I'M FULL!!!!" Shut the fuck up. This is not a rarity in this country, companeros. In 2003, roughly 23.7% of adults over the age of 20 were considered obese by the National Center for Health Statistics. Obesity is defined as having a Body Mass Index greater than or equal to 30. In 2000, almost 65% of adults over the age of 20 (having a BMI greater than or equal to 25) were considered overweight by the same organization. In a fat country, I don't think that being full is a problem. Also, your company must be in bad shape if your biggest selling point is that fact that you recently introduced a 99cent menu, something which companies such as KFC and Burger King have been throwing around for a long, long time.

Ugh. These ads irk me. I bet they're ineffective. What a waste of money. Well, it's late and I'm feeling a little peckish. Fried chicken sounds good. Later guys.

Listening to: "Halcyon & On & On" by Orbital