Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo

You know that ad for the new Chevys where the cars are playing with a ball accompanied by that song from Kill Bill? I hate it. Every time I see it (every fifteen minutes), the song inevitably gets stuck in my head, so that all I can think of for hours and hours is the following phrase: "Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo."

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.

Why would any human create a song like this? What would possess you to write it? Although the band is Japanese, they have no excuse for this abominable travesty of a song.

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.
Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.

The other song I really hate is "1, 2 Step" by Ciara. I'd never heard of her until SomethingAwful's special on the worst singles of this year. Now she's everywhere. I can't escape the four notes: da da da da da da da. I see it every time I flip to the soul-crushing cultural graveyard that consists of MTV, MTV2 and Fuse, along with "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance and whatever that new Green Day video is. And the Avril Lavigne one in which she rhymes "home" with "home" ("She wants to go home/But nobody's home--oh okay, that's creative. Good job.) I change the channel every time they comes on.

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.

See, the thing that blows my mind about My Chemical Romance is the singer's makeup. Hypothetically, if ones has a video running every two or three minutes on various popular music channels, one should be able to afford a decent makeup artist. Not in the case of My Chemical Romance (a clever allusion to pheromones, perhaps?) The singer is lavishly slathered with white foundation and black-rimmed eyes dusted liberally with red eyeshadow, complemented by an uncontrollable nest of jet-black emo hair. He looks like a plague victim.

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.

Also, way to pander to dumb and angsty teenagers, mate. Boo hoo, I'm not okay. I shall screech it into a microphone accompanied by some of my fellow social misfits. Boo hoo, I get bullied in school. Maybe it's because I'm a pathetic, pasty, vile little bitch who whines too much? No, it just means that I'm a sensitive soul. It must be that. Yes.

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo.

Jesus, I'm a fucking nerd, and I can't stand people like that. Shut up, bitch. My Chemical Romance needs to stop selling their records. Actually, everybody needs to stop buying their records. Then, perhaps, I'd get some respite from that FUCKING SONG.

Listening to: "Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Hoo"