I'm Too Old For This Shit

I am sure at least three of you are familiar with the Lethal Weapon movies. Aren't they hilarious? Danny Glover rocks my world, and do not get me started on Mel Gibson. Amazing, amazing stuff. Naturally, if you are familiar with these masterpieces, you undoubtedly recognize the quote. It pretty much characterizes my state of mind these days.

You know me as the successful, charming editor of one of the Internet's Blogging Bastions. You admire the way I dress, emulate my taste in music and yearn to drive the same cars I drive. Unfortunately, it is not all fun and games. El Rey, everyone's favority superhero, once said, "With great power comes great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that goes very well with Bernaise sauce." His wisdom certainly applies to my situation.

Take my writers, for example. We have Laura, who is brilliant, punctual and responsible. Imagine how hard it is, waking up every single day knowing that you could lose your position to someone infinitely more gifted and competent, who updates regularly and never provides lame excuses? On the other end of the spectrum, we have Sanjay, who is part of the regular rotation yet seemingly takes two weeks to complete his updates. The only advantage to having Sanjay around is that my considerable delays look minuscule by comparison. Finally, we have Tommy. I can't say anything bad about him, actually. He has yet to write a single piece.

(Deep breath.)

(Hyperventilation.)

WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHY DO I WASTE SO MUCH TIME WRITING INANE UPDATES THAT NO ONE EVER READS?

(Another deep breath.)

Oh right. I actually find it immensely fun to listen to music while inscribing my thoughts on paper. Also, there is the off-chance that some famous, rich publisher (Hello, Mr. Flynt!) will read my words and offer me a multithousanddollar contract. That would be superb. I could finally do all those drugs I have been hearing about for so long!

So, in short, this concludes another update. For those of you who were hoping for something better, I suppose you might prefer watching this.

Listening to: Rock and Roll - Handsome Boy Modeling School