Red State Advertising

(Dark screen.)

We are so hungry. Our stomachs feel like limp sacks of flesh, dangling in the hollow void that is our chest. No one has ever known hunger like this before. No one. This hunger is like Ireland and Rwanda rolled into one giant bundle of malnutrition.

But do we want food, or do we yearn for something greater? Something sustaining, something that will keep us sated for eons? Do we hope for relief from this hunger, relief for our sons and daughters and brothers and forefathers?

My brothers, I have what you seek.

(A light appears. It enlarges, ever so slowly. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.)

I give you something mankind has been searching for since he first landed upon this god-forsaken planet. I give you the bottomless cup, the eternal bread. I give you...

(Flash!)

The Powerbar! Go and tell your neighbors! Shout the good news for all to hear!

(Fade.)

Listening to: Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire