Bloody Memo Part Uno

First Order of Business:

I have decided to start another blog dedicated to writing about my major Winter hobby: basketball. As you probably already know, Laura is planning to start something of her own; the major difference between our two projects is that hers will actually be entertaining.

Second Order of Business:

Recently, while look at our site statistics, I realized that most of our traffic was coming from Laura's profile. At first, I was insanely jealous and found myself forced to kill a few small, defenseless animals. Then I suddenly realized that my profile, while indescribably superior to Laura's, does not feature a scantily clad beauty or the words "me love you good long time." The lesson in this, boys and girls?

Sex sells in a big way.

Now that I have finally realized this, I have decided to implement the following changes in an effort to increase our readership:

• We will take full advantage of Blogger's new image post function (THANK YOU GOD OF BLOG!). All future posts will feature softcore porn after every paragraph.
• Every post will have to feature a variety of "key terms." These key terms will include "donkey penis", "tea party" and "Harry Potter PVC dolphin fanfic." Bonus points if posts are actually fanfiction.
• I will change my profile picture from John Ashcroft to Laetitia Casta.
• I will list sex on the beach as one of my interests.

Hopefully this will make us more competitive. Also, Bloody Murder will henceforth be titled "Laetitia Casta Naked Pics".

Listening to: Talking To You (feat. Mos Def) - Pharoahe Monch