According to the media, Nietzche was right

After watching a blow-by-blow live n' morbid broadcast of Reagan's lying-in-state in the Capitol, I have come to the conclusion that the American media believes that Reagan was God. Thus, I came to the following conclusion: the American media agrees with Fredrich Nietzche in his statement "God is dead."

Reagan = God
Reagan = Dead
Therefore, by the theory of commutation, God = Dead

Of course, if somebody proves that Reagan was not, in fact, God, then the proof falls to bits.

I'll do the honours. Reagan was not God. He was a human, or at the very least a humanoid alien or an alien in a really good human costume. He was also the President of America in the 1980s. I don't think you can be the President of America if you are not human, therefore Reagan must have been human. Anyway, if he is human he cannot be God because God is perfect and humans are fundamentally flawed, except for Anna Nicole Smith who is, as everybody knows, a true-blue goddess. Also, he didn't actually do anything useful, unlike God who did a lot of useful things like created the world or at least created the conditions that brought about the creation of the world or something to that effect. Fuck you, Science.

Reagan could have been the nicest, most optimistic, mostest specialast man in the entire world, but he wasn't a good president and now he's dead. His death doesn't erase history and it doesn't erase the fact that he didn't do a whole lot while he occupied the White House. Just because the Cold War happened to during his term, doesn't mean he ended it. I mean, the War in Iraq happened during Dubya's presidency and he didn't cause it. Wait. Bad example. Whatever. Reagan was just lucky enough to be president when the Soviet Union finally gave in to the inevitable and came crash-crash-crashing down into the welcoming but ineffectual arms of perestroika, one burning wheel rolling poignantly out from the flames. His administration poured money into funding ridiculous ventures like SDI and revolutions in El Salvador and Nicaragua. He pulled funds out of Medicare, Medicaid, welfare, food stamps and a bunch of other progressive social programmes. And then there was the invasion of Grenada. And then the Iran-Contra affair.

We're not even going to talk about supply-side economics.

Nothing personal, you understand. You probably did your best, and I respect that Mr. Reagan. And even if you weren't an amazing president, you had a pretty amazing life.

But my animosity is toward the media who have turned somebody's death into a sappy, vomit-inducing freak show.

RIP Ronald Reagan.

Listening to: "Televators" by the Mars Volta