What I Learned From "Garden State"

Today I went to see the movie Garden State starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. I didn't want to go, but I kind of had to because it was a friend's birthday and she really wanted to see it, so I shelled out $6.75 and sat in a dark, climate-controlled cinema for 2 hours instead of enjoying the beautiful sunshine and breeze outside. Anyway, I have drawn the following conclusions from the movie:

1. You can be incredibly irritating and clingy as long as you're cute and Natalie Portman.
2. Taking Lithium for more than ten years leads to bad decisions, i.e. giving up your dreams and staying in New Jersey because you're convinced you're in love with a disorganized schizophrenic epileptic pathological liar who lives with her mom and adopted African brother in a house full of homicidal animals and a pet cemetary in the backyard.
3. Zach Braff is one of the least attractive human beings I have ever seen.
4. Money shouldn't be wasted on seeing shitty movies.

Therefore, you should all go see this movie. Misery loves company.

Listening to: "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" by The Smiths